I Dream of Moving to Another House

In a lot of my dreams, lately, I’m packing my belongings in a frenzy so I can move into a new house. It’s a big house, the same one every time I have the dream.

I can picture its kitchen and one of its hallways. There’s an enormous bar, like the counter of a diner. It’s got two refrigerators, and whenever I see the place there’s someone inside, I don’t know who.

Does anyone else ever feel like things are about to happen? Like any day now a series of events will probably take place?

Most of the time, things are bad. Sometimes, though, they can be good.

I was writing a short story yesterday. When I picked the work back up again today, I messed it all up. I took the story in the wrong direction.

It’s not something I enjoy. It makes me feel kind of dumb, when I take something with a lot of momentum and plow it right into a brick wall.

But it’s not like I haven’t done that before. It’s not like I haven’t repaired a story so it could fly again, and then patched the wall to boot.

I do it over and over again. It’s what it’s all about.

Someday I’ll write about the computer game Oxygen Not Included, and how when you play it you’re going through similar motions to writing a short story, or painting a painting. You’re trying things a certain way, seeing how they don’t work, starting over again, and again and again and again, until you finally feel happy with what you’ve made, and it becomes a living, breathing, thriving thing.

My computer isn’t strong enough to run that game for long. I should buy a new computer. Computers should cost no more than $300.

Every time I write something, it’s like I’ve never written anything. Every problem feels like it’s the first-ever problem.

When I’m not dreaming about moving, and packing things up, I’m dreaming about words. I dream that I’m reading a book, and I can never remember when I wake up what the words in the book were. I could be writing entire books in my sleep, as I read them in my dreams.

If so, they’re probably not very good. But still.

But I usually dream about packing my things so I can move into another house. Everything is disorganized, nothing is properly arranged. I’m doing it all in a hurry. I’m stuffing books into luggage, and throwing things away.

I am frantic to get it all packed together, so it can all be taken away.