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Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56afb2f5b09f957bd4c98afc/7ff027f6-177e-42a0-ada1-95d9b66dfbef/1a9d2cc4-9931-4e85-9a2c-49d9cd8cb77a_199x300.jpg Blog - What the Final Scene from Barton Fink Means in 2025 - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. http://robertlongforeman.com/blog/2025/6/4/7kosftvqb2a5q80s58bttj74gxeusx monthly 0.5 2025-06-04 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56afb2f5b09f957bd4c98afc/404aa72c-0068-4e91-bdd7-1a48ef3e9a0d/518wMQ4hXML._SY445_SX342_PQ88_.jpg Blog - "Then, with a Sudden Bang, the Exit Door Flies Open" - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56afb2f5b09f957bd4c98afc/a0677524-d016-41e2-912d-f748d01fb94e/bafkreifmg3lpklciyr7ulirlb2kfnib5tstpchieryjgtliyyujqegwhbe.jpg Blog - "Then, with a Sudden Bang, the Exit Door Flies Open" - Make it stand out I was watching a televised performance of MacBeth from 1979, starring Ian McKellen and Judi Dench, and who should appear playing the Porter but Ian McDiarmid, who also plays Emperor Palpatine in the Star Wars movies. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56afb2f5b09f957bd4c98afc/8588fd41-71a6-48fa-85dc-4131b4712e37/46761a1f-e87f-4cdd-86cf-baa516cfea65_1600x1198.jpg Blog - "Then, with a Sudden Bang, the Exit Door Flies Open" - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56afb2f5b09f957bd4c98afc/3d3a5ad4-decd-4f90-8820-ac8e2b460f6d/6b96f665-df89-4381-a3f5-39a8ce538c6d_1170x1971.jpg Blog - "Then, with a Sudden Bang, the Exit Door Flies Open" - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. http://robertlongforeman.com/blog/2024/9/18/back-to-the-back-to-the-back-to-the-back-to-the-future monthly 0.5 2024-09-18 http://robertlongforeman.com/blog/2024/5/15/exits-exist-and-not-enough-of-them monthly 0.5 2024-05-15 http://robertlongforeman.com/blog/2024/5/8/this-is-where-the-real-threat-is-emanating-from-for-you monthly 0.5 2024-05-08 http://robertlongforeman.com/blog/2024/1/22/breaking-poor-things-and-barbie-are-movies-that-tell-similar-stories monthly 0.5 2024-01-22 http://robertlongforeman.com/blog/2023/11/30/the-water-hole monthly 0.5 2023-11-30 http://robertlongforeman.com/blog/2023/11/3/the-amazing-digital-circus-and-the-case-of-the-borrowed-premise monthly 0.5 2023-11-03 http://robertlongforeman.com/blog/2023/9/7/heres-staring-at-you-dune monthly 0.5 2023-09-07 http://robertlongforeman.com/blog/2023/7/6/thinking-of-quitting-read-this-first monthly 0.5 2023-07-06 http://robertlongforeman.com/blog/2023/5/31/the-worst-interview-question-ever-substack-chunk-one monthly 0.5 2023-05-31 http://robertlongforeman.com/blog/2023/1/20/i-published-an-essay-in-brevity monthly 0.5 2023-01-20 http://robertlongforeman.com/blog/2022/10/31/new-story monthly 0.5 2022-10-31 http://robertlongforeman.com/blog/2022/10/24/083ik6qnbratvtyiyimbftyld4is3r monthly 0.5 2022-10-24 http://robertlongforeman.com/blog/2022/10/10/monday-morning monthly 0.5 2022-10-10 http://robertlongforeman.com/blog/2022/10/1/ur3jx5i7wtlfegmjqiowztqo0hi4ld monthly 0.5 2022-10-01 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56afb2f5b09f957bd4c98afc/6a8872de-dfdc-47e6-880b-9e01cacf5644/41ayMgwe5FL._SX321_BO1%2C204%2C203%2C200_.jpg Blog - 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Make it stand out This is what Robert looks like from the side, when he is holding a microphone. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56afb2f5b09f957bd4c98afc/1469550684714-MCVOOJDJ0JJLFS8PMX5I/IMG_1332+%282%29.JPG Bio http://robertlongforeman.com/amongotherthings daily 0.75 2024-06-24 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56afb2f5b09f957bd4c98afc/1469548926885-A1CAMJ4XMPTDW725DHKW/image-asset.jpeg Among Other Things http://robertlongforeman.com/contact-1 daily 0.75 2025-12-12 http://robertlongforeman.com/selected-publications daily 0.75 2025-09-25 http://robertlongforeman.com/i-am-here-to-make-friends daily 0.75 2024-06-24 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56afb2f5b09f957bd4c98afc/1579657225950-BBCBP8X1KW37XSS76IM8/FINAL-03.png I Am Here to Make Friends "The sly, deadpan humor in many of these stories is both charming and artful. Humor strikes me as one of the most elusive qualities in fiction, but to Robert Foreman comedy seems second nature. This is an impressive, highly original and satisfying collection." --Christine Sneed, author of The Virginity of Famous Men “Robert Long Foreman’s stories are so smooth. They glide along as if on ice. No tricks, no twirls, no fancy moves. And then you realize the ice is dangerously thin. Every story of Foreman’s is two stories. There’s the top story, the narrative itself. But underneath is another story, keeping pace, racing along, hyperventilating. The driest humor, the wildest imagination. Bizarre stuff told by the most matter-of-fact, deadpan narrators. In every story, Robert Long Foreman achieves what even the best bestselling authors fail to do: render the extraordinary ordinary; the ordinary, extraordinary.” - Sara Pritchard, author of Crackpots, Lately, and Help Wanted: Female Robert Long Foreman is an exciting and original new voice in fiction, which is abundantly evident in his thrilling debut collection, I Am Here to Make Friends. In the tradition of DeLillo and Saunders—and Foreman belongs in the company of such great writers—Foreman’s characters are ordinary unsung people whose lives are made briefly interesting by a small unexpected change or phenomenon that slowly, hilariously, and poignantly spirals into absurdity. With a deft hand, Foreman spins sentences that are subtly surprising and vibrant with meaning. He’s an acute observer of human nature, of the ironies and duplicities inherent in contemporary American culture. His wry wit is a gift that he deploys--like a literary weapon--to make you chuckle at his characters (ourselves), even as he stealthily breaks your heart with their thwarted longing. Foreman’s I am Here to Make Friends is a brilliant and compelling collection by an exceptionally talented writer who reveals the weirdness in our day to day lives at this moment in history. This is a dazzling book. -- Maureen Stanton, author of Body Leaping Backward: Memoir of a Delinquent Girlhood and Killer Stuff and Tons of Money: An Insider’s Look at the World of Flea Markets, Antiques, and Collecting. http://robertlongforeman.com/weird-pig daily 0.75 2024-06-24 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56afb2f5b09f957bd4c98afc/1600539257346-RBCYPZ6VKRYQ1Q0WS4VC/Weird+Pig+Cover.png Weird Pig Weird Pig is about Weird Pig, a pig who wants to do right. But doing right isn’t always easy. He drinks. He eats pork chops. He rides a skateboard. He gets his fellow farm animals murdered, and fathers an illegitimate son who has a messiah complex. When Weird Pig leaves the farm he calls home, he inspires a series of children’s books that help bring on the end of his little world—a farm where human and beast alike toil in the shadow of an ever-growing factory livestock complex. From farm to table and beyond, follow the misadventures of Weird Pig in this kaleidoscopic portrait of America, seen through the eyes of a crazed animal who insists on making himself at home there. === “Weird Pig is one of the funniest books I have ever read. Robert Long Foreman has a special talent for capturing the chaos, brutality, and absurdity of life in America. Like Huck Finn meets Animal Farm on acid.” -Erin Somers, author of Stay Up with Hugo Best === “Weird Pig is that rarest of beasts, a porcine picaresque, a comic novel that actually induces laughter in humans. In this anthropomorphic spoof of a story, no animal, person, or societal institution is safe from a good old-fashioned literary skewering. Swift and Orwell would be proud, if they weren’t already so dead. Neither the hero we want nor need, Weird Pig may yet be the one we absurdly deserve. Robert Long Foreman is an exceptionally imaginative wit and a new talent to watch.” -Brian Van Reet author of Spoils === “If you asked Weird Pig to tell you about himself, he’d say he was ‘one in a million.’ And he’d be right. Robert Long Foreman’s Weird Pig is a satire with sharp wit, absurdist humor, and scathing insights that made me laugh and flinch in equal measure. No character or subject is safe from Weird Pig’s lacerating gaze, and through his antihero, Foreman tackles subjects as far ranging as industrial farming, creative writing programs, sex trafficking, the publication industry, addiction, and gun violence. Weird Pig is wonderfully weird, one of the most memorable characters I’ve ever spent time with, and Foreman’s novel is beautifully strange, intelligent, and monstrously funny. I love this book.” -Joanna Luloff, author of Remind Me Again What Happened http://robertlongforeman.com/books daily 0.75 2025-12-12 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56afb2f5b09f957bd4c98afc/5e590029-2762-47aa-9288-f8717a29b385/AOTcover.jpg Books https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56afb2f5b09f957bd4c98afc/2ee22688-8fc8-44be-a083-5b6908884ef9/cover+2b+%281%29.jpg Books - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56afb2f5b09f957bd4c98afc/45582c29-23e6-48ca-aad2-27f28c015f0d/FINAL-03.png Books https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56afb2f5b09f957bd4c98afc/f0301003-a5ef-48ea-a9ec-7cbe8419fcef/Weird+Pig+Cover.png Books http://robertlongforeman.com/consulting daily 0.75 2026-01-11 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56afb2f5b09f957bd4c98afc/cc055344-c68e-4701-91d9-d7d613d331f8/PXL_20251212_161231864.jpg Consulting - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. http://robertlongforeman.com/heavens-to-betsy daily 0.75 2025-12-12 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/56afb2f5b09f957bd4c98afc/54a961a0-1119-42e4-aeff-fbc0d4546767/cover+2b+%281%29.jpg Heavens to Betsy “There’s a joke about a grandmother who mistakes “LOL” for “lots of love” and comments “LOL” on tragic social media posts. Robert Long Foreman isn’t that grandmother—yet—but he makes me LOL with his keen eye for life’s absurdities. Heavens to Betsy is a hodgepodge, part anti-memoir, part unlikely hero’s tale, in which Betsy, the little pug who nearly meets her end beneath a dump truck, becomes an eponym for failure, inspiration, origin stories, aging, parenting, sustainability, and more. Lots of love to Robert Long Foreman for this hilarious, allusive, lyrical slice of heaven.” — Jenny Molberg, author of The Court of No Record "Heavens to Betsy is a gift. Robert Long Foreman, like Vonnegut before him, manifests himself deftly into a wild narrative because he can—because it feels right and good—and we should all be witnesses in the same way that we are witnesses when our canoe capsizes on an obstacle in the river, spilling us riders into the fizzing water. But the obstacle before us isn’t a tree or a rock. It’s a dinosaur, blinking in the sunlight. It’s not trying to eat anybody. Just happy to be here, in the river with all of us. The dinosaur can’t stop smiling, and neither should we. What a rare discovery—both lizard and book." —Luke Rolfes, author of Sleep Lake